Sheila Okoye

Live Streaming Link

Obituary Program Link

Dr. Sheila Kubwalo Okoye was born in April 1942 in Blantyre, Malawi, the eighth of nine children. From the very beginning, she was rarely alone – her youngest sister, Stella, arrived not long after, and the two became inseparable, spending nearly all of their time together while half-jokingly insisting they longed for independence. Life would eventually take them across continents, but that bond never wavered. The two would ultimately settle just five minutes apart – each, of course, playfully denying she was the one who followed the other.

Sheila was an accomplished professor of mathematics, but her greatest title was Grandma Honey. Grandma because she waited so long to become one, and Honey because that is what her husband called her.

In Malawian culture, once a woman has children of her own, it is rare for anyone to call her by her first name. Even Dad – as everyone in our family called him – always called her Honey. So much so that the younger children in the family believed it was her name. Hence, Grandma Honey.

Though she rarely told this story herself, her journey was extraordinary. An NGO administered an exam to students across the continent of Africa, offering scholarships to colleges and universities throughout the United States to those who scored in the top 10 percent. She was among them. She came to Spelman College in Atlanta, Georgia, where she majored in mathematics.

Little did she know that, upon arriving at customs in New York City, she had already been spotted by her future husband, Chudy. He was immediately smitten and would move heaven and earth to get that first date with her. That, however, is a story for another time.

She and Chudy would eventually marry in the small chapel on Morehouse College's campus. She later told us that when they combined their bank accounts, they had less than $100 between them. A year later, they were still broke, but with style: happily pregnant, working at her alma mater, and driving a bright yellow convertible Karmann Ghia that still bore the brushstrokes of the household paintbrush used to paint it.

In the early 1970s, while returning to the United States from Malawi, her husband surprised her in New York so he could fly back to Atlanta with her. She was confused, knowing full well they could not afford such a luxury. Of course, there was a catch. He waited until they were at cruising altitude to tell her that he wanted to accept a job in Selma, Alabama.

She had words. Words not suitable to be written here.

But eventually, she came to love Selma.

There, she taught mathematics at both Wallace and Concordia. She was excellent at mathematics, but she was even more gifted as a teacher. She was warm and compassionate, but she was also firm. Many students at Concordia did their best to avoid her Statistics class. Yet she was teaching more than math.

She once gave her students a test in which one question – worth 40 percent of the grade – asked simply: What is the janitor's name? The lesson was clear: every person who helps make your life better deserves your recognition and your respect.

Having been an international student at Spelman herself, she knew what it meant to long for home. So she set out to create that feeling for international students in Selma. She opened her home to them – to gather, to cook familiar foods, and to talk and laugh together. In doing so, she met two students she came to love as her own: Nana and Brent. But that was not unusual for her. Throughout her life, she and Dad welcomed countless family members into their home. Theirs was a kind of little Ellis Island. Some stayed for a short time, others for years – however long it took for them to get on their feet.

In the end, that was their true legacy: two children from small towns in developing countries crossed an ocean, found each other, fell in love, and built a home – not only for themselves and their family, but also for so many others who found themselves in a big new world, uncertain and alone.

Although she gave birth to three children, she was a mother to many more.

A Funeral Mass has been scheduled for Saturday, March 21, 2026 at 11:00AM from the Our Lady Queen of Peace Catholic Church.  Burial will follow in The New Live Oak Cemetery with Aubrey Larkin's Lewis Brothers Funeral Home serving with excellence through professional service.  

To send flowers to the family, please visit our floral store.